Preparations for Departure

"Are you scared? Are you nervous?" everyone keeps asking me.

My answer? No, not really. I suppose you could call me pensive or thoughtful, but I am not scared. I've had a lot to do to get ready for this--visa processing, financial planning, tedious ticket searching, and AIDs testing (Yep. Seriously.). Packing and moving out of the apartment I shared with my best friend was quite possibly the saddest moment I've had in a long, long time, but then it leads me to think, "Be strong, Shannon. You have so many more goodbyes to say. Don't be sad yet."

The realization that all of my planning and hoping is coming to fruition with the blessings of those I love and admire most in the world has been...shocking. I feel like thus far, I've been planning someone else's life and thinking, "I hope this works out someday for me." Now that THAT day is three weeks away, I...well...I am starting to get really excited.

Two years seems such a long time to commit to something. What will happen to those I love at home? Will my godsons get more siblings, and will I not be here for the most important moments of their spiritual lives? Will my best friends move on and not remember me when I go? Will my family have times of rejoicing and grieving without me?

I remember the hardest thing about being away for a semester was not being here to hold someone when they hurt or have the ability to talk something through with someone. So much changed last time--what will two years do??

I have high hopes for these situations. I know that God will lead those things in whatever paths He chooses, and that my presence here or there makes no difference.

Another question I keep getting (or rather, not a question, but an assumption) is if I am going to "find myself a sexy Russian man". No. No no no. I know all of you are laughing to yourselves thinking, "She has no idea what she's saying. Just wait till she falls in love with one and has to eat her words." Russian men are a different breed. Almost every marriage between an American woman and a Russian man ends in great unhappiness or divorce due to the different trains of thought and culture--so, unless you are wishing all kinds of unhappiness and evil upon me, please don't hope this for me. *runs speedily in the opposite direction*

The countdown has begun for August 20th!!! WISH ME LUCK!