The Adventure With Sickness

After fighting off the inevitable "I'm a Westerner and I got really sick because I'm not used to freezing temperatures" cold, I am going to venture into the world (which, by the way, is still freezing) outside tomorrow. Duty calls!

But first, let me tell you about this experience.

It was a Friday afternoon, and I'm on the marshrut (minivan-type bus) home after work, and the ache in my throat that has been there for the previous two weeks is beginning to really catch my attention. Like...REALLY. I arrive home just in time to clean my room before my new Russian tutor arrives and set out some cookies and tea. She arrives, we go through an introductory hour and a half, I call my student who is basically at my doorstep and cancel with him, and collapse into bed. A horrific night ensues of cold air rushing into my lungs with every breath, and the true ache begins. Having had very little time to do any "sickness" shopping, the only things I had in my house were mineral gas water (bought on accident because the "gas" was hidden) and kasha (oatmealish stuff). I had no other medicines than whatever my roommate had in the kitchen already.

I got out of bed at around 2:30 am to get a glass of water and discovered my purchasing mistake--this would surely NOT help my aching throat. I took some water from the kettle because I knew it had been boiled. I understand what St. John means in Revelation about the warm water more thoroughly now. He really should have added "kettle" to his description. It would have been more distasteful. In the fridge I find all sorts of medications. Some, obviously, were not for throats, some might have been, but one definitely was. It was for spraying the throat, and I assumed it was to make it numb. I decided it was better to experiment with the hope of feeling better than not at all, so I gave it a whirl and it tasted utterly disgusting too. All it ended up doing was making me extremely thirsty.

Being very parched with a slightly numb throat and a disgusting taste in my mouth, I headed back to bed. Seven hours of restlessness and discomfort later, I got up again and made some tea and kasha to greet the morning. I think it was due to my intense thirst, but I ended up with a severe migraine, which ended up in the kasha staying elsewhere besides it's designated home, and went back to bed to moan and groan for six more hours.

That Saturday afternoon, I was supposed to bring a heating pack to my Australian friend who had fallen in the snow and ice, and we were going to have lunch. After not hearing from me, she sent me a message asking if I was alright, and upon hearing that I was not, she came running with homemade soup, medicines and other special, marvelous things. "Shannon, I'm not even going to ASK how you feel," she said, "you look like death among us!" Anyone who has seen me ill knows that the first thing to go is the color in my face--immediately. Either way, she was met with tears of pain and joy. I love her. It is good to find fellow foreigners for friends immediately when you move to a different country. When things like this happen, they will ALWAYS run to help you, and you should likewise run to help them. In any situation, when all hope seems to be smoldering away, they will be there.

The next day was Sunday, and that night, my roommate had a friend over. This friend (her name escapes me, so I'll just call her Lena) had spent a lot of time in the States, so her English was very good. She also had formed all sorts of ideas about American people and how they function when they are sick. "Americans have a funny way about them when they become ill, Katya," she said to my roommate, "when they get sick, they don't try to heal themselves, they just look for relief. When we Russians get sick, we have all sorts of remedies."

I smiled and nodded.

So here come her "remedies"! "You must drink vodka," Lena says, "vodka with honey and pepper and lemon. It will make you feel better instantly. Afterward, you drink a cup of tea, also with honey and lemon, and wrap yourself up in bed for a good night's rest." Hilarity ensued when they poured me a cup equal to at LEAST two-three shots of vodka and stirred honey, pepper and lemon into it. I stared with fear and disdain. Honey and pepper does NOT look appetizing. Now is the time when you imagine me staring into this large "shot" of honey-lemon-pepper vodka with big, fearful eyes with two Russian women staring at me eagerly, pressing me onward! My throat...my poor, poor throat. For an instant, it felt wonderful because I couldn't feel my entire neck any longer, but then everything came back.

On Monday evening, I got two phone calls. One from my senior "assistant" and one from my boss. Both saying, "Shannon, I would like you to do me a favor. Do not come in to work tomorrow. Take another day off so that you really fight off the sickness." Seriously, only in Russia does your boss call you in sick for you.

Anyway, I'm feeling better now after being quarantined to my house for five days, except for quite possibly having gone crazy.