The most difficult thing about being away from the people I love is not being able to physically be there for them when bad things happen. Anyone who knows me knows that I am the "mother hen" type that cries as at the drop of a hat. It's impossible for me to make it through movies like Homeward Bound without hiding my face in my pillow and ignoring half of the film. I just want to hug whoever is in pain with a great, big, far-too-long-lasting hug.
When dear friends painfully part ways, when there are scary hospital visits and surgeries, when there are people who pass away--it hurts to not be there with them. It makes me question why I am here doing what I am doing in Moscow. It makes me wonder what kind of person these experiences will make me become in the future. No matter what concerns I have, I DO know that my being in Moscow is for a purpose, and that God fixed every step of the way--pretty much, I'm not allowed to question myself on this.
If there is one thing I have definitely learned, it is that regardless of my presence, the only affect it is possible for me to have on anyone comes from God, and He really doesn't need me to be there to be of any assistance. I know, I know. This is so cliche and obvious, but it's always those things I have to relearn. They're never fun the millionth time around just like they weren't the second time around.
Anyhow, if you're one of those people that I seemingly have shunned, please forgive me and know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm going to stop before this becomes anymore dramatic and mushy. Ick.
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xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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