Oh dear...

It seems I'm not particularly good at writing blogs. Eek.

There's so much about life that I feel like could improve. I have untapped potential, but I'm not so sure of how I can reach it. It's become clear to me as of late that it is necessary for me to get to this potential and push to my fullest extent. I moved to Russia in the beginning to reach dreams and goals that I had a lot of hope in. I think I've reached some of those goals, but there are still some that sit there like gaping abysses that I have yet to conquer.

It's an overwhelming feeling, really, just knowing that you've got so many things to do until you start doing what you THINK might set you up for vocational satisfaction. I realize now that in leaving, I set myself up in a place where I could potentially be stuck for a very long time, and never attain any of the goals I had. Of course, determination will lead me elsewhere, but how do I get there? I know what to do, but it's like going into a marathon without practicing for years, and specifically without a trainer.

Why do I need a trainer? I've never really been very self-motivated. Always determined, but rarely good at being self-motivated.

I still have not decided exactly what my focus will be for graduate school or exactly where I want to go. I need to study and take the GRE. I need to decide if I'm staying in Russia or moving elsewhere in the interim between Graduate School and where I am now.