The Toothbrush

Here's a story about a day of absolute horror that I experienced a few months ago. Yes, I am just now writing about it.

Earlier that week, I had purchased a beautiful, new toothbrush from the local supermarket, and I was so excited to use it. It had all sorts of special things about it--fading bristles that let you know when it was time to buy a new one, special grips for maximum tooth-brushing comfort, soft bristles. It was going to be the best toothbrush ever.

So, I began enthusiastically brushing my teeth, in of course the same amount of time I had previously, just with more rigor.

A few weeks later at the kindergarten, I could feel my throat starting to feel absolutely terrible. As usual, it was the beginning of a sickness, and my tonsils felt like they were on fire. So I did something totally normal. I went home, and I opened and ate an entire carton of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. It was the only thing that came close to soothing my throat, and in my newfound comfort, I fell asleep with the spoon still in my hand.

When I woke up, the lingering ice cream taste in my mouth was no longer so delicious and sweet, so I ran to my toothbrush! Now, just prior to that, my roommate had been walking around the house getting ready to leave, and I could hear him moving things around in the bathroom. I paid no attention to this.

I stood up to get to my toothbrush, and as always, when I picked it up, I thumbed the bristles. I don't know why I do this. I just always do. To my shock, the bristles were wet. Wet? How could this be? Why would MY toothbrush be wet? Maybe they fell down and someone washed them off? I thought, so I thumbed the other toothbrushes. Not wet. Then it donned on me.

OH MY GOSH. MY ROOMMATE WAS JUST HERE. I'VE BEEN SHARING A TOOTHBRUSH WITH MY ROOMMATE. OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH.

I quickly ran to my phone, and sent my roommate a text message.

"Um...which toothbrush have you been using?"

The answer came shortly after.

"The green one."

My response?

"Oh my gosh. I think we've been sharing a toothbrush."

To my chagrin, my roommate answered, "In some cultures, I think that means we're married. Sorry."

How could he?? How could he confuse our toothbrushes? Doesn't he know which one is his and which one is mine? MINE WAS NEW!! How could he confuse them? That is so disgusting! For the past month, I have been sharing a toothbrush WITH MY ROOMMATE. SICK!!!

The following conversation took place later that evening.

Roommate: Yeah, that's gross. Have you been using my green one?
Me: YOUR green one?? That toothbrush was MINE! Uuuuuugh!
Roommate: No, that one was definitely mine.
Me:No, green is my favorite color. Of course I would buy a green toothbrush.

And then I remembered. I always buy kid toothbrushes because I have small teeth, but the supermarket didn't have any more kid ones, so I DID go for green, but they didn't have any good ones, so then I found a blue one with all the bells and whistles. The blue one (which was now in the trash with all the other toothbrushes that I had tossed in my shock and confusion) had been mine.

It wasn't him that confused anything! It was ME!!! And what was my logic? That green was my favorite color, therefore, I would be the only one in the house with a green toothbrush. Of course!!! What an idiot!!!

I buy pink toothbrushes from now on.